Almost a month after the whole Biggest Loser stint, and I can say that I'm sort of back to my old life. The hype has almost died down (well, for me at least) and the people around me are back to their usual normal busy selves.
And now, being alone in this particular Starbucks branch, watching Coach Jim with his Milo Running Clinic students while writing, I am left thinking... so how do I continue with this fitness stint? How do I make sure I get to make sure I live up to people's expectations of my life outside the BL camp?
Admittedly, being in a weight loss related reality show is not easy. Aside from the physical, emotional and mental hardships, one thing that I had to go through was being judged by the people that get to watch us on television. Being "fitness advocates," (I still can't get used to the phrase,) people keep an eye on what we do and what we eat most especially. You can't believe how many times I've felt like I've had to explain to people why I eat, and that WE'RE ALLOWED TO EAT.
But more than anything else, more than being a fitness advocate, I'd like to be someone who speaks up in behalf of all the obese and overweight people in the Philippines. Despite all the comments of people, it still warms my heart reading messages from people with the same problem as I do. All along I thought I was alone in this boat. Apparently not. And now that I'm in the position to... I don't know, whatever position this is, well, I feel like I need to speak up about how big girls can be beautiful and fabulous too. And being fat doesn't mean we're slobs. We're people too, and we just like to eat. :)
And so Joy and I will be doing something in the near future. Watch out for it. :)
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
From Neverland and Back
So, this must be how Wendy and her other siblings felt when she got back from Neverland.
What do you do when the greatest adventure of your life (so far) is over? Do you go back to your old life, or do you continue looking for things outside of your comfort zone? Do you go look for another adventure, or do you sit back and wait for something to come up?
Unfortunately, only 15 other people can relate to whatever this is I'm going through.
Separation anxiety? Maybe.
What do you do when the greatest adventure of your life (so far) is over? Do you go back to your old life, or do you continue looking for things outside of your comfort zone? Do you go look for another adventure, or do you sit back and wait for something to come up?
Unfortunately, only 15 other people can relate to whatever this is I'm going through.
Separation anxiety? Maybe.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Diet Diaries: Week 1
The coming weeks will no doubt be one of those times in my life that I will remember for the rest of my life. The succeeding blog entries will be about my journey to losing weight and to living a healthier life. :)
I'm in a situation where in failure is not an option. I have to lose weight because the pressure of the whole Philippines is on my shoulders. That's all I can say right about now.
This week has been perhaps one of the most challenging weeks I've ever had. Everything's starting to change again, and I'm caught in between excitement and fear. I'm scared because I don't know what's ahead of me, what and how much I'll have to do, and how much pain I'm gonna have to endure. I'm excited for the outcome, of course.
I had a very intense workout from Tuesday to Saturday (May 3 - 7) this week. That's 5 days of me working out 6 hours a day. Add to that the 2 hours I spent working out on Monday... well, that's why I haven't been going out recently. All I do now is go to the gym, and go home and sleep. My body really isn't ready for that kind of physical activity, and for me to go out, well, I just physically couldn't anymore. My whole body aches like hell, and to stand or go up the stairs makes me wince out of pain. My muscles are sore, but when I'm in the gym, I have to pretend that I'm okay so that I won't get labeled as someone who complains a lot.
Aside from that, my diet has also taken a 180 degree turn. I can no longer eat the things that I want to eat. Unhappy food, that's all I've been eating. Nothing fried, no meat, just fish, chicken, wheat bread, vegetables and fruits. That's it!
I understand that the first couple of weeks is always the hardest, so I'm glad I'm done with week one. I hope I start getting used to this kind of regimen at the soonest. :)
Weight loss as of May 6: 5.2 lbs
I'm in a situation where in failure is not an option. I have to lose weight because the pressure of the whole Philippines is on my shoulders. That's all I can say right about now.
This week has been perhaps one of the most challenging weeks I've ever had. Everything's starting to change again, and I'm caught in between excitement and fear. I'm scared because I don't know what's ahead of me, what and how much I'll have to do, and how much pain I'm gonna have to endure. I'm excited for the outcome, of course.
I had a very intense workout from Tuesday to Saturday (May 3 - 7) this week. That's 5 days of me working out 6 hours a day. Add to that the 2 hours I spent working out on Monday... well, that's why I haven't been going out recently. All I do now is go to the gym, and go home and sleep. My body really isn't ready for that kind of physical activity, and for me to go out, well, I just physically couldn't anymore. My whole body aches like hell, and to stand or go up the stairs makes me wince out of pain. My muscles are sore, but when I'm in the gym, I have to pretend that I'm okay so that I won't get labeled as someone who complains a lot.
Aside from that, my diet has also taken a 180 degree turn. I can no longer eat the things that I want to eat. Unhappy food, that's all I've been eating. Nothing fried, no meat, just fish, chicken, wheat bread, vegetables and fruits. That's it!
I understand that the first couple of weeks is always the hardest, so I'm glad I'm done with week one. I hope I start getting used to this kind of regimen at the soonest. :)
Weight loss as of May 6: 5.2 lbs
Friday, April 22, 2011
Day 7
Day 07 - Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality.
I am bored and lazy to write, so just read this. Apart from the fact that when I Googled "libra characteristics female," this was the first website that website that came up, well, its a very apt description of a Libra woman.
I am around 95% of the description in the link above. The only thing I didn't agree with was about Libra women being neat. I am not. Obviously.
I am bored and lazy to write, so just read this. Apart from the fact that when I Googled "libra characteristics female," this was the first website that website that came up, well, its a very apt description of a Libra woman.
I am around 95% of the description in the link above. The only thing I didn't agree with was about Libra women being neat. I am not. Obviously.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Lenten Reflection
Today is Good Friday, a.k.a the most boring day of the year, for a non-practicing person like me. The Lenten season has no meaning for me, aside from the idea of it being two days of rest (yay!) But then since I'm unemployed (officially, I now am. My 30 day resignation notice expires today.) Maundy Thursday and Good Friday has considerably less meaning.
We were Catholic growing up, but even though we were Catholic, we were never the type to participate in Catholic traditions. My parents chose to honor the Holy Week at home, doing nothing. Now that we're no longer Catholic, well, the Holy Week and Lent have less of a significance.
Don't get me wrong - I believe in God and Jesus and everything else. Its just that personally, I prefer celebrating my faith in Him in my own way. I never really got the point of all the sacraments, rituals and symbols. I believe that everyone has their own unique way of professing faith, and ultimately, we are judged by what is in our hearts. People will disagree with me, but hey, to each his own. :)
Today my sister and I went to High Street to hangout (You'd be surprised at how many shops and restaurants are open!) and unexpectedly, we ended up doing the Stations of the Cross there. Papa and I did it last year, and it still had the same effect on me.
It was a very refreshing experience. We've all known the story of the Crucifixion since we were 6, thanks to the 13 years of Christian Living classes and 4 years of Theology in college, but have we ever stopped to think about how it connects to us, the people living now in 2011? In one fleeting moment, probably, yes. But most likely, its something we don't really think about. Heck, I'd rather think of my own (lack of) lovelife.
And so now, I'm in a reflecting mood, thus this blog entry. I hate to sound all preachy, but you know what, I have so many things to thank God for. Number one is a big thank you to God for allowing Jesus to die for humanity. Many people take their lives for granted, have little appreciation for themselves and are insecure. We forget to think of the fact that someone died for us to live. Someone loved me enough to endure all that pain and suffering. That in itself is a thought that should get us through all the 360+ days in a year. Jesus had trust in us that we could be better people, and maybe its time to prove him right.
I have so much more to thank God for, and if you know me well enough, you probably know what I'm pointing at. I think He deserves more from me, and this is my wake up call. :)
And oh, thank you to those that made the Stations of the Cross in High Street. I think its called Walkway: Reflections on the Stations of the Cross (yes, I did research!) Great initiative! :)
We were Catholic growing up, but even though we were Catholic, we were never the type to participate in Catholic traditions. My parents chose to honor the Holy Week at home, doing nothing. Now that we're no longer Catholic, well, the Holy Week and Lent have less of a significance.
Don't get me wrong - I believe in God and Jesus and everything else. Its just that personally, I prefer celebrating my faith in Him in my own way. I never really got the point of all the sacraments, rituals and symbols. I believe that everyone has their own unique way of professing faith, and ultimately, we are judged by what is in our hearts. People will disagree with me, but hey, to each his own. :)
Today my sister and I went to High Street to hangout (You'd be surprised at how many shops and restaurants are open!) and unexpectedly, we ended up doing the Stations of the Cross there. Papa and I did it last year, and it still had the same effect on me.
It was a very refreshing experience. We've all known the story of the Crucifixion since we were 6, thanks to the 13 years of Christian Living classes and 4 years of Theology in college, but have we ever stopped to think about how it connects to us, the people living now in 2011? In one fleeting moment, probably, yes. But most likely, its something we don't really think about. Heck, I'd rather think of my own (lack of) lovelife.
And so now, I'm in a reflecting mood, thus this blog entry. I hate to sound all preachy, but you know what, I have so many things to thank God for. Number one is a big thank you to God for allowing Jesus to die for humanity. Many people take their lives for granted, have little appreciation for themselves and are insecure. We forget to think of the fact that someone died for us to live. Someone loved me enough to endure all that pain and suffering. That in itself is a thought that should get us through all the 360+ days in a year. Jesus had trust in us that we could be better people, and maybe its time to prove him right.
I have so much more to thank God for, and if you know me well enough, you probably know what I'm pointing at. I think He deserves more from me, and this is my wake up call. :)
And oh, thank you to those that made the Stations of the Cross in High Street. I think its called Walkway: Reflections on the Stations of the Cross (yes, I did research!) Great initiative! :)
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Word Vomit
I'll write in bullets because right now, writing a coherent blog entry is the last thing on my mind. I am writing for memory's sake, because I want to go back and read this and remember this time.
- Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. I don't know how to feel. What used to be joy and anticipation, is now an emotion I could not describe.
- My mind is half preoccupied by the thoughts of him. Now that we're okay, and back to where we used to be, well, I don't want to leave his side. More thoughts in my mind, since I don't know what I'll be going back to. I'm still in limbo, but I'm happier. Is that even possible?
- What will I do if suddenly I don't make it to the actual thing?
- I'll miss my family. No matter how dysfunctional we are, I know missing them will be like having a body part missing.
- I'm scared I won't be myself after this.
- I want to remember Friday night - when he told me all those things. I know he loves me, and now I know it wasn't just me who was feeling that way. It was hard for him too, not having me there, in the same way that it was hard for me to leave his side. Apparently, we were sharing the same experiences unknowingly -- we were dreaming about each other, and we were both avoiding our old places/things. Two days isn't enough to compensate for the 4 months we were apart.
- I know, when I get back, he'll tell me the words I've been waiting for him to say.
- Thank you, God, for this opportunity. I don't know what I did for you to bless me like this, but thank you nevertheless. I will make you proud. I will make everyone proud. :)
Sunday, March 13, 2011
On Love and Loving
For some strange reason I really enjoy watching celebrity weddings on TV. On TV tonight is the John Estrada - Priscilla Meirelles wedding, which I like because one, they're a Filipino celebrity couple, two, its a destination wedding, and three, its really, really cheesy.
I guess even though I really will not admit this in real life, I really am a girl and I like cheesy things. I used to think being cheesy is a weakness, and to admit that I need love is a weakness. I realize this now and I figured, maybe its time for a paradigm shift. Maybe accepting that I need love will lead love to me.
I always thought that when I don't ask for things, it'll come to me. Maybe this time around, I should admit that I need it, but not to the extent of looking desperate, of course. The more open I am, the more it'll come to me, right?
Plus maybe, I am partially over him, because now the thought of love no longer brings out bitterness in me. Them bitterness was what was was killing me, it kept bringing me back to that very painful moment. Letting go of it means me really starting over and me learning to forgive and trust men again. More than any other time in my life, I feel like now I'm ready to love and be loved, and it feels really, really great.
I guess even though I really will not admit this in real life, I really am a girl and I like cheesy things. I used to think being cheesy is a weakness, and to admit that I need love is a weakness. I realize this now and I figured, maybe its time for a paradigm shift. Maybe accepting that I need love will lead love to me.
I always thought that when I don't ask for things, it'll come to me. Maybe this time around, I should admit that I need it, but not to the extent of looking desperate, of course. The more open I am, the more it'll come to me, right?
Plus maybe, I am partially over him, because now the thought of love no longer brings out bitterness in me. Them bitterness was what was was killing me, it kept bringing me back to that very painful moment. Letting go of it means me really starting over and me learning to forgive and trust men again. More than any other time in my life, I feel like now I'm ready to love and be loved, and it feels really, really great.
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