Mabuhay, from Cebu! :)

First things first --

Day 03 - Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Everything in moderation. Period.

I'm not a prude, at least, I'd like to think I'm not, but I think everyone deserves their own moment of craziness. That involves drugs and alcohol. Sex too, for most people (obviously not me. Haha.) But like what I always say, everything should be done moderately. Its when people get into something so much, that they lose all sense of reason, which makes things bad.

Anyway, Mabuhay, from Cebu! :)

First night is now being spent vegetating in the hotel, watching cheesy Filipino movies. In all fairness, it has all been very therapeutic. No contact or even mention of guy-whose-name-will-never-appear-here at all. Well, how could I, the only company I have is my sister. Haha. :)

Okay fine. Cheated a bit. Got to talk to him for a bit a while ago via messenger. :|

But anyway, I promise to spend the next 3 days and 2 nights just thinking things over for myself. And I promise that this weekend will be for me to rest emotionally. Maybe I'll get to start praying again, who knows.

Wish me luck! :)

Day Two

Day 02 - Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

I haven't really put much thought in where I'd like to be in 10 years. Today's problematic enough for me to still think of the future. Haha.

But, being forced to really think about it, I think the only word I would want to describe the future would be settled. I wanna be 34, an executive, with a husband and maybe 2 kids in elementary and preschool. I wanna live in a gated community, with a yaya and a driver for my kids, much like how I was raised. I wanna be able to travel the world with my family, and get to buy whatever my family and I want.

Hmm. Seems a lot. 10 years isn't a long time for someone like me who's starting from scratch. Good luck, Leigh.

30 day meme, Day One.

Out of boredom, and because I'd like to (finally) write about something else apart from how depressingly repetitive life has been recently, I'm doing this.

Day One - Your current relationship, if single, discuss how single life is.

According to Facebook, I am single. No wait, I remembered, I disabled the relationship status option there.

Inasmuch as I'd like to say I'm in a relationship, I'm not. I'd like to say its a pseudo-relationship, but then again, going by the technicalities, its not. So I'm single, put it bluntly. It's not the easiest thing in the world, being single and 24. I feel like I'm walking around with a big sign on my forehead that says "lonely." Pressure is everywhere, and honestly, I'm starting to think that I may just end up alone for the rest of my life.

Knowing me, I might just end up doing that just to spite everyone. You know, really not getting married. It'll be like a big "fuck you" sign to the whole world to lay off all single girls.

Emo Monday

On a rainy Monday night, I find myself staring blankly into the monitor, allowing my fingers to do the talking. Outside the rain is pouring, giving me a false sense of coldness, making me want to just tuck myself in bed. I look over to the TV, seeing colors and images move, but not seeing anything at all.

I feel empty; like I could just lie like this forever and watch the world change around me. Apparently, that's what I've been doing anyway, so why not just accept it entirely?

Allow me my moment of self-hate for now. I need to be hard on myself so that things will change.

How did I get to such a low, low point? From a girl who knew what she was worth, who knew what she wanted in life, and had the guts to get what she wants, how did I get to this? I feel so broken and lost, like I don't even know myself. My self worth has been questioned, and my values have been put down. Heck, I don't even know what to believe in now. Even my capability to trust in myself and in other people has been shattered.

On Photography.

One more photo from Eximus Prime. Shots are darker because I used ISO 100, as opposed to the ISO 400 I used the first time.

I'm currently loving my new hobby. Taking photos of "happy accidents" and other random things (like this one,) is definitely my cup of tea. Gone are the days of one angle vanity shots and of taking very posed photos. This may be a very expensive hobby (with the developing charges and all,) but I think, so far, it has been worth it because I get to express my creativity and I get to keep memories of my day to day activities at the same time. :)

Eximus Prime

The first semi-okay shots from Eximus Prime, my Eximus White Angel Wide and Slim camera. Yay for new hobbies! :) I'm crossing my fingers for better shots the next time around!

Reminders --

1. I am so much better than this.
2. Never allow myself to go emo again. I am only allowed a couple of minutes of self pity. Never give myself the luxury of wallowing in whatever it is that I'm wallowing in.
3. Courage is the only thing I need -- courage to fix the things that need to be fixed internally. It's not enough thatI know what's wrong. I need to make the effort to fix it too.
4. No boy is worth all of this.
5. Try to believe in the best in people. Continue to hope.